TLDR>> Not much to report; thoughts on site, work, future prospects, fear of child!
TLDR>> Life's improving. Guess I was just mad depressed... Become spiderman immediately.
TLDR>> Car getting fixed, tired but life becoming more manageable, finally. Getting through life.
TLDR>> Not much to say here, but I'm alive and working on the site again! Just keep swimming, eh?
TLDR>> Whoops, got caught up! I want to redo some parts of the site, life has been sub-par, and upcoming updates to site!
TLDR>> I'm tired of being so crazy busy, government shutdown is scary, and I hope to figure out these webcomics soon!
Okay so it's like 6 am right now, and I've been working on this current update for like three hours. Sleep? Hardly know 'er. Anyways, not much to speak of, other than how excited I am for this site. I'm frustrated, too--as I am with all things that I improve on WHILE I create--but I'm ultimately happy with it. Or- at least I'm going to make myself be happy with it so I don't purge and start over. Really pumped to get the webcomics up and running, and major thanks to all the webcomics I saw that were built THROUGH neocities. Without those, I wouldn't have made this at all!!!!
I'm also having fun just rumaging through websites, following buttons, interacting with strangers. I've MISSED it, like, so much actually. I haven't gotten to run amuck in so long... Anyways, I WORK FOR FIVE DAYS STRAIGHT AGAIN UGH. I mean, that's been the norm for a bit now, five days straight, three 5 hour shifts, then two 6 hours... but I usually end up staying to close most nights lol, which means getting out at midnight to 1 am. Yikes. I USED to work for three days, then two, with breaks between them... but then the owner hired another dishwasher for some reason and now my days off are together. Minimal problems, though, obv it's whatever LOL. Also, I got to run food for the first time today!??! It was kinda scary, I really need to be taking my anxiety meds,,, but I forget,,, and now I'm off schedule anyways,, ugh task initation sucks ASS. I also forget that I can curse... my website, yk, FUCK SHIT GODDAMNIT!!! Sorry, reader, if you have a kid with you. If you do have a kid... I hope you aren't me in the future. GULP. Hi potential kid offspring!?!? I HOPE I GOT MY LIFE TOGETHER FOR U XD
ANYWAYS I might leave it at this, since there isn't much to report on. Probably no blog update until something interesting happens, cuz like... cmon... who wants to read about every time I take a shit?
Jeez I was pretty depressed wasn't I... Anyways, my cars fixed, I got my advanced diploma, and I did end up taking that gap year! That's all, bye!!!
Only joking, I've got a real update. I'm working a new job now, just a dishwashing gig in a local bar, but the pay is nice, and the people are great. I don't do much now, aside from work, sleep, and this now. I figured I could really use a hobby again, something to actually keep up with and maintain outside of myself. I didn't end up applying to any colleges or anything, since I was like... REALLY going through it. I still kind of am, but I'm in the process of talking to someone about it, and giving myself healthier outlets. As high and mighty as that sounds, I'm still crushing like four monsters a day and bedrotting but... who cares, right? > .>)
Honestly, I've found such comfort in the internet lately, I don't know why I didn't get into this sooner. Time? Resources, maybe? Mental bandwidth? I've been online for most of my life, to some degree, but now I'm getting to the real guts of it. I don't know half as much as some of the people on here, but I can't really fault myself for that. What's crazy is my limited knowledge and ability is more than most people I know irl?! Yikes, guys! Learned some people haven't even gone through the typing speed classes?!?! They had my wpm at like 100 since middle school lol ,^ u^)
But yeah. Life's been... good enough. I've got a girlfriend who I love more than anything ever. Last time I wrote, I think I was still dating my last ex... he was... boy, was he a situation... Regardless, I finally managed to break things off with him, and then got talking with my gf. We'd been friends a few years--German class, as weirdly specific as that feels--and decided to try a relationship out. We weren't super sure, at first, if what we felt was romantic or not... but it worked well. Really well, actually. We've been looking at apartments for a bit now, even, it's pretty exciting... even if I still need a lot more income for that LOL. It's been good, it's been good. I think I'm going to look into HRT soon, too, which is cool. She started recently, so I've been really happy for her about that. Life is going well, and despite everything it's still kicking me with, I refuse to stay down. I mean- what would Spiderman do? Peter Parker always gets back up. Think about that when it gets rough. Be the Spiderman you want to see in the world.
Eventually, I'm going to figure out a way to keep these things more folded up, so they don't take up a bajillion scroll-miles on my page... but for now, this works. For now, this is good. A lot is good.
Well, I've finally a mix of good news and bad news. Good news is I finally have hours at work and am earning money, and I'm getting through the day... Bad news is everything else.
My car situation is still frustrating, but it's finally getting fixed. I'll be doing the labor, so I'll only have to pay for parts, but still. Something is better than nothing. It's kind of hard dealing with that, though, since I have to be uber dodgy about it for some reason... unfun.
I still need to finish applying to college, even though I'd MUCH rather take a gap year. It's AGONY right now, but whatever, I'm not dead!!! Art and creation wise, there's not much, since I've been so busy. I live alone with my dad most of the time, now, so that's cool. I like having space to myself, it's made everything a lot more manageable!!!
Shorter update for today, but something is better than nothing. Just can't wait for classes to be over...
Good gawd, every time I manage to update this, it feels like I'm in a new ring of hell.
Life has been... nuts to say the least. No biggie, though, I'm still going, so that's good... though I'm not too sure what to say. I have about a million complaints--between family, work, school, and just... me in general... but I don't particularly want to get into the details every time I come back to read this lol.
I'll try to stay lighthearted with lots of this--the new version of the website being up has been a good ego boost, and I can start working on figuring out what I want to do with webcomics- especially figuring out how I can best optimize my work flow for making them quickly, since I know I want one of them to just be... an updated telling of my life, day by day. how to portray monotony...
All I'll put is that I'm still kicking. Life is kicking, too--kicking me in the nuts, that is--but that's fine. Even if all I can think about is how rough it is, haha.
Nothing to do but keep going.
Oh my DAYS. Totally got caught up in work and stuff... so that's a huuuuge delay on any work for the webcomics I want to upload here, not to mention the lack up blog updates. I guess I'm gonna keep doing this, then. I'll try to keep up with it a little better. Maybe change up some of the colours and theming...
Anyways, onto life updates. I started bulking recently, so lets see how that goessss... I'm pretty excited to see what the results are, even if I'm basically stuffed 24/7 now lol. Works going alright, too--even rumors of raises being passed out this december, though I'm not sure how true those'll be. I really hope it turns out true, I want more money...
Lastly, I'm gonna voice some reformatting wishes- I want to add a factoid portion. Maybe on the left hand side of my blog posts? Or maybe I'll make it a navigation thing and add another page for things that I've learned about... I'll figure that out later on, probably this Sunday, since I don't work then. Or I'll forget and lay in bed all day again ^_^')
Okay, great time to rant. In class at the moment, which sucks, but at least I have a second to type. What's up with life being absolute bullshit like 24/7? I'm so tired of working like all the time, lol, I have no time to work on these sick webcom ideas I have :,)
Of course, work isn't the only issue. I ALSO have to deal with my family--Like, my dad got in an accident at 4 am. Tf?? Cops came knocking and EVERYTHING, it was insane... so as of writing this I'm dead tired lol. Wondering if the AO3 author curse is applying to anybody making creative content, cuz wtf!! Only just tried to make some cool creative stuff and the government shut down, my dad totalled another car, my job suckssss extra (EVEN MORE THAN USUAL!!!!) and I'm like basically dead 24/7...
Without a doubt I WILL get these cool stories out, cuz I REALLY want to. I also need to set up the actual webcomic page... and the individual pages for the stories... since webcomics are the whole reason I wanted to make a site anyways... gulp..!